I Live In One Of The Worst Countries For Women|Pakistan

So I came across something recently.

Pakistan ranked fourth worst in gender parity.

And when I say that I exploded, believe me, I became a ball of rage! 🤬 But to be honest, we all know Pakistan is a very sucky place to be a woman. Just last year, I was violated of my privacy by a group of men. Since then, I always have the worst thoughts if a man walks too close to me. Just recently I had to go to the market to buy some groceries, and found myself tensing up every time a man came near me. You know, when your eyes dart left and right and your hands find themselves covering your behind.

So what does this tell us?

Gender Inequality IS NOT

  1. An Islamic Problem
  2. A Desi Problem
  3. An Asian Problem
  4. A Brown-People Problem
  5. A Backwards-Mentality Problem

It is a PAKISTANI problem. Own it.

I mean just imagine this, I’m teaching an 18 year old girl HOW TO WRITE HER OWN NAME! Her dad didn’t believe in educating her, so she’s been working since she was 16. Child labor and lack of education? Ding ding! Oh and the cherry on top, how could I forget, SHE’S MARRIED.

Does anyone care?? Yes?? I mean we all care until it inconveniences us. Once that happens, we enable the very system that puts these women in these positions.

Anyways, its 1 AM and I feel like I could go on for HOURS and HOURS about this. All I’m asking for you guys is to please use your privilege and platform to help others. If I had one dying wish, it’d be this. And I won’t stop until this world becomes a better place.

A parting quote for you all from Muhammad Ali Jinnah, the founder of Pakistan.

your fave (you just don’t know it yet),

ayesha ❤


and if nothing else, I hope this sparks discussion which can carry forward to help someone.

119 thoughts on “I Live In One Of The Worst Countries For Women|Pakistan

  1. I feel like gender inequality is quite sad; a woman deserves to be educated just as a man does. I feel like the stereotype is that men study to work and then to earn, and I guess that does make sense, but a woman should definitely be educated, even if she plans on marrying and never working! it’s really important to have something to fall back on and to know you are self-dependent!
    And moreover, some women want to work (for various reasons; but some are earning money-obviously and some want to work because they’re passionate about something!)
    Women being educated is normalized in some parts of the world, but some countries are taking a bit longer to adjust than others. Alhamdulilah we’ve come this far, there was a time when women’s education revolved around basic reading and writing as well as activities such as needlework and dancing.
    InshaAllah there will come a time when education is taken much more seriously by all individuals, especially in Pakistan, the beautiful country that it is.

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    1. Thank you! Together we can all do something, maybe not immediately, but certainly after a few generations 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by! Sending love 💓💓

      Like

  2. It’s disconcerting to know there are still people who would rather have their daughters go uneducated than unmarried. I’m glad your own family is not among them. At least, I’m assuming they know you are going to med school and that they heartily support you. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yesss!! It’s an age old tradition and it’s gonna take a long time to break it.

      I’m so so so so so grateful and lucky to be born into a family (with more girls than boys!) that supports and encourages all paths. I can’t believe I even have to be guilty for this because it’s something I wish everyone had 😦

      Thanks for stopping by!! Sending love!! 💓💓

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Gender inequality is real and cuts across nations or religions. It’s sadder that it still exists in this technology era and century. I once heard Oprah Winfrey (I hope you know who she is) say that she was paid $20,000 doing the same job as a caucasian guy who was paid $50,000. When she asked her boss, the boss asked if she had a family with kids, a home, or bills like the guy did? Why should that matter – the pay should be equal for doing the same job, right? This is only one of several other examples.

    Can anyone please remind the perpetrators that the woman gave birth to them and ought to be treated better?
    We could write a book (or series) on the topic.
    Please continue to speak up and do what you can within your power to inform. Gradually, I’m sure things will change, but the answer is not to keep silent. 🙏🏾😍

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are ABSOLUTELY correct!! Of course I know who Oprah is, she’s a legend 😂 I remember when I was around 4 years old, my mom would watch her show all the time! And it sucks that someone as influential and big as her still has to face these issues 😡 the gender pay gap is present everywhere, from Hollywood to labor work.

      Ikr?!? Women literally gave BIRTH to you. You wouldn’t even be here had it not been for a woman.

      The answer will never stay silent, you are right about that!

      Thanks for stopping by!! Stay safe 💕💕

      Liked by 3 people

  4. Many years ago, I met a lady from Pakistan who came to Rutgers University to do research on women’s shelters. I wish I had talked with her more, but back then I didn’t even know what women’s shelters are. I was clueless. Yes, there should be more awareness of women’s issues and women’s plight.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There are a lot of women’s shelters here 🙂 but they are in drastic need of funding!

      I appreciate your comment and input, it helps with the overall conversation! 👍

      Stay safe!! 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Ayesha girl,this just got me hooked like crazy.
    I read the post and it’s wack (sorry to use an outdated slang but yeah,wack) that they just took pictures of you!!
    Married?! She’s married?! I mean it’s bad enough that the poor girl can’t even write her name but married too😕?
    This post just put me in some *gender based violence must stop mood* 😂😅🤷‍♀️😅

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, you’re right! It is WACK!! 😂

      Yes!! She’s married and her husband is even more illiterate than her, if that’s even possible! Interestingly enough, her brother is in 10th grade. But since she’s a girl, well, you know the drill… 💔

      I always get in that mood hehe!! Not the gender based violence part (okay maybeeee), but just in the mood to CHANGE things!!

      Thanks for stopping by girl!! Sending you loads of love!! 💕💕

      Like

      1. 😂😅

        Was it an arranged marriage? At least her brother is in school and yeah,I sadly know the drill💔

        Yeah if only there was just a really simple way to CHANGE things🙁

        Sending you loads of love too😚❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Arranged 100%!! But she wants to get married because she has nothing to do all day. No television, can’t read, write, look anything up online. Oof!!

        Stay safe! 💕💕💕

        Like

  6. I have visited there and I know exactly what you mean. So sorry you live in a place you can’t walk without fear. We take it for granted in the West.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that’s one of the reasons why this impacts me so much. I moved here four years ago after having been born/raised in the West. This issue seems more abnormal to me than most. Oh well!!

      Thanks for stopping by! Sending you loads of love!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. It upsets me so much to hear that women in the world are being treated with such unjust and disrespect. It upsets me even more to know that I’m not doing anything about it. I loved reading this post, because it opened my eyes, and motivated me to bring about change. Thank you for this ❤ I hope one day, you (and the rest of the women in the world) will never need to feel alert around men again.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I love your comment! It’s a perfect representation of an unfortunate reality: that a lot of people don’t know.

      I would and could never blame anyone for not knowing about these issues!! Don’t take it too hard, girl 🙂 What matters now is that you are educated and empowered enough to try to help out our fellow sisters! And no need to thank me now, you can thank me when every woman gets their human rights guaranteed. In fact, I should be thanking you!! 💛 You give me hope for our future!
      Sending you loads of love!! ❤ We got this! 💪

      Like

  8. I know exactly what you mean! I grew up in Bangladesh and although I was too young to experience anything like it —I know women before me experience this in a daily basis. It’s frustrating, disheartening and outright painful to not have the basic right we deserve. Without women prospering in a society —how would the country move forward, I mean we are half the population?! I can’t even.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. My fellow desi sister!! 🙂 💛
      You echo the same question that lives rent free in my brain: How can a country prosper when half of its population is suppressed? I mean, it’s no coincidence that the least stable/educated/growing countries are the same countries where women suffer most. We aren’t asking for radical change, we just want BASIC rights!

      Coincidentally enough, we had a case study regarding the significant achievements Bangladesh has been able to make in recent years with regards to health. It was part of my Public Health course, I know, super boring lol! But Bangladesh puts maternal/child care at its number one priority. And the country has greatly benefitted from that. Super cool 😀

      You give me hope for our future! Sending you loads of love!! ❤ We got this! 💪

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh god I love this post! You are a girl you has the courage the talk about her country and except the flaws! Hats of to you! Even though I am from India and you know the rivalry between our countries I loved this post to a limit
    Amazing 😍

    Liked by 5 people

      1. I feel you, Riya! That’s why I prefer replying to comments on my laptop as opposed to my phone 😛 (the only problem is that my laptop stays dead most of the week hehe!!)

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Awww I love this comment even more! My fellow desi girl! 💛
      It’s super sad to see how India and Pak are today when they used to be one, with all religions and cultures living in relative coexistence. They say the British used a policy of ‘divide and rule’, and I think so too! Love always! 🙂 We should celebrate our differences and similarities together, hena?
      You give me hope for our future! Sending you loads of love!! ❤ We got this! 💪

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I still wonder a lot of times, how beautiful it would be if I could travel to Karachi, and you could come to Mumbai whenever you want. Just take a flight and reach here.
        We could have been one, but politics suck.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Oof! Hena?!? There is too much hate between the two, I mean we were one for centuries!

        It’s on my bucket list to visit India!! My grandmother was born and raised there, she moved to Pakistan when she was 15. I would love to see where my roots came from. Her family was separated so we still have family there! I think its so cool I have family there, right??!

        Politics will always be the downfall ugh! It is to blame for the situation we’re in 😦

        Thanks for dropping by!! We can never stop dreaming now, can we? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly!! My fellow desi sister!!
      The subcontinent has a really big issue with women. My first question is, why do desi men STARE so much?? Ugh! So uncomfortable.
      You give me hope for our future! ❤ We got this! 💪

      Like

  10. Hello Ayesha , I’m Habibata from The Modest Aristocrat. I’m sure you’ve seen a few of my comments I’ve left on your blog posts. I just wanted to reach out to you today to see if you would want to collaborate on spreading the awareness about the Hijab ban in France, along with all of the other horrible things that are happening to us Muslims. If you do want to collaborate on this, than please reply and we can get an idea put together. ❤️✨

    I’ve also messaged some other fellow Muslim bloggers to see if they would want to collaborate on this. If you do want to join, you can message me on IG (@modestlystyled) or email me (habibatadiallo.tma@gmail.com)

    – Habibata Diallo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes 😦 It is a really desperate situation here. If there is no change fast enough, I fear we will never be able to grow!
      Your comment makes me even happier ❤️✨ I won’t stop until this injustice ends!

      Sending you loads of love! 💛

      Like

  11. I stand with you. Absolutely. I am an Indian, but this toxic patriarchy (and I’ll call it out for what it is, blatant women-hate and the desire to feel powerful) does not spare me. Thank you, Ayesha for calling it out, also I am sickened to hear about the 18-year old you mentioned. Hope we all come together to overcome it.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Exactly, dont be afraid to call it out!! This issue has plagued the subcontinent for way too long. It’s so ingrained in our dramas, movies, and music. Here, women are portrayed as perfect, desired, and objects. It’s no wonder the way women are being treated.

      Her name is Maryam, and I’m trying to get her literate in the next few months. She’s got her name and letter/numbers down, let’s see what else she can accomplish when she is empowered iA!

      You give me hope for our future!
      Sending you loads of love!! ❤ We got this! 💪

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    1. Thank you 🥺🥺 Please, please no need for the compliments! I’m just doing what needs to be done. Enough staying silent 🙂
      I pray that one day, that is the case! I want my daughters (if I have any!!) to be comfortable and safe. And I probably won’t see the day, but we should all try to make the world better for our future generations 🙂
      Change, after all, takes time!
      Sending you loads of love!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Inshaallah you and your sister too would see a more loving and caring world Ayesha. And Inshaallah you shall have beautiful and brave daughters to take your dream further 😊💖

        Good to hear from you. I was wondering- Ayesha kahan kho gayi. Hope all is well with her 😊

        Love and blessings 🤗💖

        Liked by 1 person

  12. A very important topic. I have to echo Jim above and wonder how the words of Mohammad Ali Jinnah have been so lost in such corruption and indecency. And I could help you write volumes on Pakistani men…but that would be solely based on personal experience and involve just one Pakistani “man”.

    Thank you for saying this and I am sorry you and so many others were violated.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yikes! Knowing Pakistani men (not all are bad; a few rotten apples spoil the bunch!) I can already tell it was NOT a good experience. I’d love to hear your story and raise awareness for these issues!

      There is no need for you to apologize! You have done nothing wrong 🙂

      Sending you loads of love!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh I know quite a few nice Pakistani men. In my case, the Pakistani man was my ex-husband so that colors the distaste. It wasn’t just him, it was his family (save his father who was one of the best men I knew).

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I mean I live in India and I moved here two years for college from Saudi Arabia. Like, there are such stark differences but all in all, I’ve seen more subjugation of women here than I saw back in SA. There they were free socially and economically (this is before the restrictions on women were shunned btw) but ofc since it’s a Monarchy you didn’t get to commonly hear about crimes against women on a large-scale but that doesn’t mean they’re non-existent. When I moved here, by the grace of God I took public transportation all alone and nothing ever happened. But yes, we do hear of such cases and crimes against women every now and then, there’s this irrelevant syndrome of treating them like a responsibility to be married off asap without even equipping them with the kind of self-confidence that’s required to survive in this world. It’s a shame, really.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. And yes, it’s the problem of the country, an issue of womanhood and its perception. People are infused with this type of horrendous thinking that limits the role of a woman to merely a birth-giver.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. This echoes my history too! I lived in Saudi Arabia for a year, and spent my summer/winter breaks there for another three years (my dad was working there). And this was before they were even allowed to drive! But you’re right, something I fondly remember is the respect that I received in Riyadh. Men would never stare at me, call me names, snap photos of me. They kept their gaze down (for the most part)

      Desi folk have a problem with staring lol. It’s so uncomfortable 😦

      I’m so so SO grateful you were never groped or assaulted on public transport!! It sucks we even have to think of these thoughts and be aware of them though…

      The marriage thing is such a shame. As if a woman’s only job is to pop out babies. That’s NO life to live!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly!
        Well, I spent my time in Makkah and Jeddah and sadly, there have been instances where women have been groped during Tawaaf. But many people don’t speak out on these issues hence they’re not commonly known. One of my friends was doing Tawaf alone this one time and a man stalked her the whole time.
        Oh yes, but at some point I started to dismiss the whole stare thing cause idk how but every time I visited India vacations, people would just know that we didn’t live here lol I’ve no idea how 😅 After that I honestly just stopped paying attention to all this and I don’t think it happened a lot of times either, where people are just staring at me to the point that it makes me feel weird. Or maybe my subconscious brain has dismissed this trait altogether and idk if this is the process of normalising it by getting used to it but okay 🙃
        But yeah ever since I coloured my hair silver fox, I totally have to dismiss the states 😂 not to mention the comments: ‘Kaale balon ko safed karwaliya’ (she coloured her black hair white) like okay strange random men and women, I know what I did to myself now can you go back to selling your vegetables and idk minding your customers?? I don’t really blame them, I mean it’s understandable for them to think that way.
        But yeah, in a fluttering moment I suppose it does frustrate me. But it’s okay, I also enjoy it more than I resent it xD

        Like

  14. I love how you said it isn’t an Islamic problem, a desi problem and then ‘It’S a PaKiStAnI pRoBlEm’ I’m so glad someone finally said that. You’re right.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. It’s about time we faced this head on! No more hiding behind curtains 😠 Islam gives a woman so many (EQUAL) rights, and with Pakistan literally being an Islamic Republic, it seems like the biggest hypocrite move of the decade that these women aren’t even given that.

      You give me hope for our future!
      Sending you loads of love!! ❤ We got this! 💪

      Liked by 1 person

  15. WEFs Gender report is eye-opening. But I m surprised to see Pakistan’s name at bottom. I being Kashmiri eulogise and dream of Pakistan and cherish it deep in our hearts. But such stark revelation sends shock waves . Can u tell me is it so scary and nightmare for women as a place??

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Unfortunately Shazad Bhai, these are vey real and hard-hitting realities. You will rarely hear about this on the mainstream news. Politics and cricket are far more important 😐

      It is certainly not a paradise lol! Islam gives a woman so many (EQUAL) rights, and with Pakistan literally being an Islamic Republic, it seems like the biggest hypocrite move of the decade that these women aren’t even given that. I have been harassed and followed, stared upon by men even though I’m living in Islamabad. And the majority of woman face some sort of discrimination, I can confirm. This can be subtle or extreme. Many women do not even know that they are not being given their rights because they don’t know themselves what their rights even ARE.
      A quick google search of Pakistan’s literacy rate is depressing enough 😦

      A personal experience of violation. –> https://themindofayesha.wordpress.com/2020/07/28/a-group-of-men-took-pictures-of-me-and-i-dont-know-what-to-do/

      But I have hope! And You give me hope for our future! We cant stop until basic rights are granted to all, Just as Jinnah dreamt.
      Stay safe!! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Quite depressing revelation… Woman issue has been universal, encompassing temporal and spatial boundaries. It’s not an issue which can be handled by one way cure. It requires multi-pronged approach from all stake holders -law, theology , morals, cultural, gender senstisation, self protection and self aggrandizement… 🌺

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Makes me wonder further why these problems weren’t addressed head on in the last 70 years Pakistan has been a country. And why hasn’t enough been done???
      I guess that’s what a handful of martial laws, corrupt leaders, and political instability gets you! 😦 The only time these issues are discussed are when political candidates are appealing for votes. Then POOF, it’s all talk.
      Thanks for the drop by, Jim!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s absolutely disgusting and heartbreaking! 💔
      As a fellow Pakistani and sister, I’m sending you loads of love!! 🥰
      We got this! 💪 Stay strong!!

      Like

      1. Salt lake city! I’m sorry, I thought your original comment implied you were in Lahore and facing similar issues! My bad!! 🙂

        Like

  16. As an Indian woman – I so get you. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that experience. When I was in college, I was groped on the bus journey to college and I was SO scared that I never spoke up.
    I hate how we’re taught to be careful instead of men being taught to be decent. I hate how we’re taught that being quiet is better for us than speaking up and creating a scene. I hate how women safety and equality issue isn’t even something that our politicians and leaders are working on. 😡

    Liked by 9 people

    1. Oh my god! Gosh I hate that we live in a world where people get away with this stuff. I was groped in my school and same! Was so scared that I couldn’t say anything. And the worst part is that when u finally do say something people start asking for proof and witness and I just wanna say – just because someone doesn’t have proof or a witness or something doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is lying. Ayeesha this is a wonderful post and it’s definitely sparking up conversations ❤️ I hope that one day things get better for you in Pakistan. I assure you that it’s not that better in other places either… speaking as an Indian girl. 🤞🏼💜

      And moksha!! The worst part is when the highly esteemed political leaders and all are the very same people doing this!! 😠 And they get away ’cause each time the law suddenly seems to change to fit their I interests 😡

      Liked by 6 people

      1. IKR? The background checks of half of our politicians will show that either them or someone they know have perpetuated crime against women. Sad state of affairs in our country. :/

        I think as women – we need to support each other and motivate each other – so that the next time we’re able to speak out at that time and stop someone from hurting us or our loved ones. You two are brave and amazing girls – always use your voice like you are now. ❤

        Liked by 3 people

    2. It is so sad when these things happen anywhere. But keeping quiet is not the answer. I have 4 older sisters and they went to college in 50s and 60s. My father taught them to speak up, to shout and my parents taught me and my brother to respect and protect women.
      I sincerely hope and pray that things improve. Change begins with you and me.

      Liked by 4 people

    1. Yes, Nawazish. This corona pandemic has set women rights/education/healthcare back a number of years! Domestic abuse is skyrocketing 😦 It took endless effort to convince parents to send their kids to school instead of work, and this pandemic has taken these kids out of school.

      Years of convincing undone in a matter of weeks.

      How can you blame the families? They have no source of income 💔
      Stay safe, sending you loads of love! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  17. I will most definitely be bringing more attention to this on my blog and recommending books that deal with these very real problems! *high fives to not stopping until the world becomes a better place*

    Liked by 4 people

    1. AAAYYYY Brooke!! You should see my face rn, beaming with happiness! 😀 💛
      I’m so so so looking forward to seeing what you write!
      ✋✋✋✋✋ *high five from halfway around the world!!*
      You give me hope, Brooke! And trust me, that’s something that’s very rare for me after hearing this depressing stuff 😦
      Stay strong! 💜 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so glad you were able to take something away from it! It’s so easy to forget that these issues exist when you don’t see them openly around you 😦 unfortunately, it’s super common here!
      Stay safe, sending you loads of love!🥰🤍

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It must be so hard when it’s worse. 😦 I try and be an activist and talk about issues where I can but it must be more difficult when the oppression is stronger. Sending love as well 🧡💛❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes! Every year there is a Women’s March called the ‘Aurat March’ (def look it up because it’s super interesting!!) which becomes a battleground for politics and violence and protests. I’ve been meaning to go, but it’s way too dangerous and I legit am too scared. Oh well! 💪
        You give me hope, Emine! Stay strong! 💜 🙂

        Liked by 3 people

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